At the tender age of 2, my dear friend’s daughter learned to say “please” and “thank you”. She used both words frequently, lighting up when someone responded, “You’re welcome”. It’s a good example to follow.
This philosophy certainly extends to your guests. Of course you will thank them for coming. Perhaps the evening will not allow you to spend as much time with each person as you’d like, but a phone call after the event or a hand-written note can really make someone feel special.
Planning an event on your own can be stressful. Finding suitable vendors that fit into your budget and trying to ensure that your guests have fun and feel taken care of, while juggling work, family and well, life… In the midst of all of this, try to remember the basics: please and thank you.
What do I mean? I once knew a bride whose parents lived in the same town as her ceremony venue, and she was planning to get ready for the big day at their home. A few weeks before the wedding, her parents unexpectedly had to move over an hour away. The bride called her florist, photographer, videographer, hair stylist and make up artist and explained the situation. Not one single person charged her an additional fee, though two hours of travel time had been added to their day. The reason? This particular bride happened to be one of the sweetest, nicest people you would ever have the good fortune to meet. She had treated her vendors with kindness and respect throughout the entire process so they were willing to accommodate her.
When I’m working an event, I say please and thank you all day: to the valet, the bartender, the event captain, the florist’s assistants, and so on. The efforts of so many people go into making an event successful. As the host, you may never even see many of these people, and that is to be expected. But I do. I express my gratitude for several reasons. Being polite goes a long way: it feels good when your efforts are acknowledged, and people tend to work harder and take more pride in their work if they know someone has noticed. It’s the difference between a staff who gladly offers assistance and one who hides when they see you coming.
Maybe it’s a misconception, or perhaps due to a bad experience, but some people expect the event planner to come in and “take over”. I will most definitely step in if things are not going as planned or I see a potential problem; however, we are all on the same team. The client does not need to be concerned with how something gets done, but it is up to all of us behind the scenes to make sure it does get done, and that we exceed expectations. So when I say please and thank you, and show that I am willing to roll my sleeves up and help, the day is that much smoother.
I also say these words because, sometimes, it’s just nice to hear. Some people are quick to speak up if something is not right, but can forget to mention it when things work out well. Everyone appreciates a genuine compliment on their service or their talent. I once told a deejay that he had played so many fantastic songs during a reception, songs I had forgotten about but I could sing along to almost every one. He beamed. And what baker wouldn’t want to be told that their cake looked amazing? The best compliment I can get is, “You took care of everything. I felt like a guest at my own party.”
And last, but most certainly not least, when you say please and thank you, nice gentlemen offer to help carry heavy boxes!
